Wednesday, May 27, 2009

He Died

Today I was a little worried that I was going to have to try to discuss death with Aidyn. Recently we watched the movie Faith Like Potatoes and Aidyn happened to come into the room just as a little boy falls off a tractor and is crushed by the wheel. She commented that there was a lot of "jelly" on the boy's face and on the ground and wasn't sure what to think when the doctor said it was "too late." They never actually said that the boy was dead, so I'm not sure that she made the connection when he didn't show up in any more scenes.

Today she was playing with her guys in the kitchen and the daddy fell off the back of the chair she was playing on. As he hit the ground she said, "He died." I was already trying to plan what I would say if she asked me anything about death but she just continued, "He needs new batteries."

2 comments:

Sarah said...

hey i was thinking about this for some reason at 3:30 in the morning when i was climbing out of dash's bed and back to mine....something you could tell her when the time comes is that "he" went to be with jesus(if he was saved) if not then i dont know what to tell you yet. My grandpa was really really sick and he passed away and when we went to visit him we just told the kids he was really sick. and now they call him sick grandpa and since we didnt see him often before we dont really have to deal with it now. but thought i would share.

C said...

I struggled with this a lot when I hung out with moms in Texas -- they all whispered the word "died" and if a bug died they'd say "Look over there!" and then throw the bug as far as possible and then say to the kids "Oh, he needed to rest."
I prefer honesty, personally. I think that it's okay to explain death to kids. How are you going to explain when someone close to them dies? You can't just say "Oh, they needed a rest" or toss them over your shoulder, like you do a bug.
It's a tough thing to explain to a child, but I really believe that it's the best thing.
I took Ellis to the zoo one day, and the lion was gone from his cage, because he had died. Ellis asked where he was, and I explained that he had died. When we got home, she told Devra "The lion died. He's in heaven with Moses (the neighbor's cat who had just died)" -- I hadn't said anything about heaven or Moses the cat, but she put it all together (at the ripe old age of 2:) and was totally fine with it and wasn't disturbed on iota, other than saying "I'm sad that lion died."
I just think it's so much better than glossing over it only to have a real mess on your hands when someone really close to them dies, and you suddenly have to explain it all.